Mindful Parenting: How to Create a Joyful and Compassionate Home for Your Child

By Jill Campbell, PsyD

Jenny Q Photography

Often as parents we end up getting a lot of unsolicited advice. This advice, although well intended, might conflict with our own instincts and intuition. I believe that as parents, trusting our intuit has become an increasingly difficult thing to do. There is a lot of pressure today to be the “perfect” mom or dad. We have this unrealistic image in our heads of this person who always knows exactly what to say, what do to, who perfectly organizes and manages every detail of her family's life. In trying to live up to this idealized image in our heads, we often begin to lose who we truly are. 

The reality, however, is that not only should we let go of the goal of perfectionism, but according to renowned author and professor, Jon Kabat-Zinn, “perfect is simply not relevant." He states that “what is important is that we be authentic, and that we honor our children and ourselves as best we can. Being present, paying attention, being true to yourself .” I believe that, if we let it, parenthood can become a spiritual journey. It is a practice that teaches and inspires us to look inward, and grow as individuals. 

Jenny Q Photography

Parenting mindfully means parenting consciously and with awareness of what the present moment requires. Mindful parenting helps us to be present and attuned to our child's inner world. In order to do this we need to become calm, balanced, and consistent with ourselves. One of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child is their full attention and validation.

Two wonderful books that I highly recommend on this subject are Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn, and Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children by Sarah Napthali. Both books do a superb job of showing us how to really enjoy and embrace ourselves in the process of parenting, and how to see our children for who they really are. In Everyday Blessings, Kabat-Zinn tells us to try to imagine the world from your child's point of view, purposefully letting go of your own. He asks us to do this for a few minutes everyday to remind ourselves who this child is and what he or she faces in the world. It is really such a simple exercise, but extremely powerful at the same time. It instantly evokes empathy and understanding which takes us out of our own heads, and brings us right back to the present moment. It helps us to see the difference between our expectations of our children, and who they really are. 

In Buddhism for Mothers, Sarah Napthali teaches us how to be aware of any tension building up in our bodies, and how to consciously release it. An exercise that can take just a moment to do, but completely centers and energizes us. It is from this place that we can begin to trust our instincts and intuition. It is from this place that all you need to parent lovingly and successfully comes to you.

I am very excited to be leading the workshop Mindful Parenting: How to Create a Joyful and Compassionate Home for Your Child at The Pump Station & Nurtury - Santa Monica on Thursday, April 2nd at 3pm. This workshop will teach powerful tools and techniques on how to be present and centered, thus creating an environment in which you can take better care of yourself and your family.

For more information on Dr. Jill Campbell's services, Lectures and Mommy & Me Support Groups please call us at 310-998-1981.